Future hope: Jio University’s ‘eminent’ faculties

We Indians don’t like stereotypes. That’s the reason our finance minister is a lawyer, a person who never attended senior college was the HRD minister and an I&B minister whose forte is giving concocted information. So, there won’t be a zilch of surprise if Mrs Nita Ambani becomes the vice-chancellor of the proposed Jio University.

The first of its kind university, where not even a single brick has been put in place, can only be eminent if it has faculties are extremely creative in their own fields and can fit the bill. Think of Narendra Modi as the visiting faculty for Travel and Tourism department while Amit Shah is adept in taking over as the dean of Pakoranomics.

This not the end of it, there will be others who can assist them in justifying their ‘eminent’ tag. A certain Shashi Tharoor, not being a favoured personality by the dispensation, can be asked to don the mantle of a Chaiwala overlooking all his academics and forte. The best person to head the Media department would be none other than news presenter Arnab Goswami who is quite a popular figure on Indian television.

Considering the post of registrar, first name comes to mind is Prakash Javadekar who not only excels in misinforming people with his ‘relevant’ facts, but had gained prominence as a painter in mismanaging things. Next thing we need to run the institute is a syllabus, for which Meenakshi Lekhi is a perfect choice for the co-ordonator’s post.

As we do need professors to lead the students who would rewrite the nation’s history, there is none second to Subramanian Swamy as Dean for Law Studies. Given his stature as regular petitioner at the Supreme Court and his unlawful statements, Swami deserves at least this respect.

Last but not the least, for any institute to attract students, you need a versatile orator and Dr Sambit Patra is an automatic choice. Specialised in corporate communications, Dr Patra not only fits into the role of communicator but also with additional charge of School of ‘Cow-logy’.

In order to show utmost respect to the Baba Ramdev, he can frequently be the guest lecturer for medicine.

On the lighter vein, The Live Mirror attempted to prepare an imaginary team of faculties who can take the institute to dizzying heights in the coming days, which is termed as achhe din. The above-mentioned university though reminds all of star singer Alisha Chinay’s 1995 number, It happens only in India.

(This is done for entertainment purposes only and there’s no intention to hurt anyone’s sentiments)